Could have, should have, would have

So, yeah, things have been pretty quiet around here, haven’t they? Honestly, we haven’t been doing much of interest.  In fact, we have been doing so little, we don’t even have any photos for this post.

After leaving Yogyakarta, we could have written about our one night at an airport hotel in Jakarta. We could have written about the hotel’s horrible airport transfer that took 1.5 hours to get us the couple of kilometers from the airport to the hotel or the massive amount of ravenous mosquitoes in the hotel lobby or the disgusting food at the restaurant or the fact that they kept their limited supply of wine under lock and key at all hours and had to find a key holder when I ordered a glass during happy hour.  But that would have sounded like whining, so why bother?

We could have written about our short stay in Bangkok where our time was spent shopping and seeing movies and eating Western food.  We could have written about how we do not understand the love for The Favourite, but how we did love Alita Battle Angel.  (Yeah, yeah, apparently we have horrible taste in movies….).  Or we could have written about how we found movies to be really expensive in Bangkok ($12/person) until we realized our ticket was for a two-person couch and included two buckets of popcorn and two pops (sodas to anyone who isn’t from the Midwest United States — well, except for those that say Coke in the south to refer to any type of pop).  But, none of that would have been very interesting, so why bother?

We could have written about our three weeks in Ao Nang, which is a touristy beach town near Krabi.  We could have written about our days spent poolside and our nights spent having dinners with our dear friends Ken and Sue.  But that would have been beyond boring, so why bother?  Or, we could have written about my Thai massage that literally left me black and blue or the snorkeling trip where I burned my butt cheeks.  But, those stories just make me look like an idiot (Robert did tell me to wear my shorts while snorkeling…), so why bother?

We could have — and probably should have — written about our transfer to a town called Khao Lak.  You know, the typical Thai transfer that is billed as a 3 hour door-to-door trip in an air-conditioned van that turned out to be a 5+ hour trip in a hot and dirty and smelly van (well, except for the 1.5 hours of which were spent sitting in a pole shed with hundreds of other tourists) that ended in us getting unceremoniously dumped on the side of the road where we then faced a long walk uphill to our hotel in the hottest part of the day with all of our luggage.  But, that would be whining again, so why bother?  (But seriously folks, never book a transfer with Hat Yai World Tour — it was so bad we paid through the nose for a private transfer back.)

We could have written about our 12 days in the beach town of Khao Lak.  We could have written about our days spent hanging at our pool listening to birds and geckos and our nights eating Thai food and surprisingly good pizza and even a cheese plate.  But, again, boring!

And, we could have — and probably should have — written about our snorkel trip from hell where the guide repeatedly touched the coral and forced us to wait for the tide to go out and then expected us to swim about an inch above the coral — a trip that was so bad that the agency actually refunded us 50% of our money (unheard of in Thailand) when we complained and took the tour off of their books after investigating our complaints.  But, we were just too damn content sitting at our hotel pool to bother getting all worked up about it a second time.

We would have written about how we managed to spend over a month in Thai beach towns without ever spending a day at a Thai beach (we did, of course, spend some time at beach bars watching sunsets, but that is a different story).  But, then I would have to admit that I am an entitled loser who doesn’t actually like beaches unless I can rent a cushioned lounge chair with an umbrella and find a wifi signal and use a clean bathroom and shower off the sand and hopefully change into dry clothes before walking back to our hotel.

So, could have, should have, would have led to no posts for a very long time.  Hopefully, things will get a bit more interesting sooner rather than later….

About theschneiduks

Lisa has a degree in biology and another in law and has spent the last 20 years working as a patent litigator. She is a voracious reader of young adult dystopian fiction and watches far too much bad tv. She loves pretty much anything to do with zombies, and doesn’t think there is anything weird about setting an alarm at 6 am on a weekend to stumble to a pub to watch her beloved Chelsea boys. Robert has had many professions, including a chef, a salesman, an IT guy and most recently, a stay at home dog dad. He speaks Italian and hopes to learn Spanish on this trip. He loves nothing more than a day spent sailing, hopes to do more scuba diving, and rues the day he introduced Lisa to football (i.e., soccer).
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